curtis amaru

"So Sick"

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin she was still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can’t I turn off the radio?
(why can’t I turn off the radio?)
Why can’t I turn off the radio?

*How ironic some songs could be… don’t yah think…

as i sat there in english class, i stared at the girl next to me.

she was my so called ‘best friend’.

i stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.

but she didn’t notice me like that, and i knew it.

after class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. i handed them to her. she said ‘thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

i want to tell her, i want her to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love her but i’m just too shy, and i don’t know why.

11th grade, the phone rang. on the other end, it was her. she was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.

she asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so i did.

as i sat next to her on the sofa, i stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

after 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. she looked at me, said ‘thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

i want to tell her, i want her to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love her but i’m just too shy, and i don’t know why.

senior year, The day before prom she walked to my locker.

"My date is sick" she said, he’s not gonna go" well, i didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together-just as ‘best friends’. so we did.

prom night, after everything was over, i was standing at her front door step.

i stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. i want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and i know it. then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

i want to tell her, i want her to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love her but i’m just too shy, and i don’t know why.

a day passed, then a week, then a month. before i could blink, it was graduation day. i watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. i wanted her to be mine- but she didn’t notice me like that, and i knew it. before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock & hat, and cried as i hugged her. then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- ‘you’re my best friend, thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek. i want her to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love her but i’m just too shy, and don’t know why.

now i sit in the pews of the church. that girl is getting married.

that girl is getting married now. i watched her say ‘I do’ and drive off to her new life, married to another man. i wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and i knew it. but before she drove away, she came to me and sais ‘you came!’. She said ‘thanks’ and kissed me on the cheek. i want to tell her, i want her to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love her but i’m just too shy, and i don’t know why.

years passed, i looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ‘best friend’. at the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.

this is what it read:

"…i stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn’t notice me like that, and i know it. i want to tell i want him to know that i don’t want to be just friends, i love him but i’m just too shy, and i don’t know why.

If i could only turn back time… If only i could…

The FRIENDS whom you thought you knew & trust… Are they for real?! Have you ever tried asking that to yourself…

Yup!!! they’ll be there alright… If you need a shoulder to cry on or if you feel down & out… Sure you’ve been through a lot together but have you ever wondered… "Up to what point or extent would they be around?!"

I’m not here to ruin your friendship but rather to save you from a "PHONY ONE".

I’ve been there, done that & i just find it unfair & a waste of time. Don’t get me wrong… I aint bitter… I’ve fallen into the same pitt as some might have already. Personally, TRUE FRIENDS are those that give way just to let you have that 1 unforgetable moment in your life & would not think of his/herself… He/She would rather count your blessings in life… If you ask for a favor from them, they wouldn’t ask for anything in return… A friend’s not just a shoulder to cry or lean on. He/She’s a shoulder that would carry you around when no one else wants to carry you… A real friend would argue w/you coz they want to see you all good & everything but would never backstab you once he/she gets the chance… & lastly, a true friend would always remember you for who or what you really are. Not for the fancy stuffs that you have, but rather for the memories that the two of you shared of the good & bad times…

These are just my own P.O.V… everybody’s entitled to one… I’m just here to share my thoughts w/you…

Now ask yourself once more… "ARE THEY MY FRIENDS?!"

Just when you thought huh… Just when you thought…